What to Include in an Obituary
An obituary has a standard shape. After you have read a hundred of them, the pattern is hard to miss: name and age and city, dates of birth and death, parents, education, career, marriage and family, hobbies, service details, and a closing thought. Almost every obituary you have ever read has the same skeleton. The difference between a forgettable obituary and a memorable one is what gets layered on top.
If you have never written one before, the checklist below covers every standard field. You will not use all of them in every obituary, and you do not have to fill each one in the order listed. Treat the checklist as a starting set: pull out what applies to the person you are writing about, leave out what does not, and rearrange the order if the obituary reads more naturally a different way.
Below the checklist you will find a section of paired examples, side by side. Each pair shows the same field done well and done poorly. The goal is to make the difference between specific writing and generic writing easy to see at a glance.
What to write in an obituary
What to write in an obituary comes down to a small set of fields: identity and dates, family relationships, life and career details, service and donation information, and one closing detail that captures the person. The checklist below walks each field one by one, with notes on which are universal, which are optional, and which depend on the family.
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How to use this checklist
Most obituaries cover seven blocks of information: identity, biographical timeline, family relationships, life details, service details, donation information, and a closing detail. You do not need a heading for each block. They flow into one another in the finished obituary. Use the checklist below to make sure nothing essential is missing, then write the obituary in plain paragraphs. If the obituary will appear in a newspaper that charges by the line, plan for around 200 to 300 words. If it will appear on a funeral home site, you have more room and can include longer stories.
A note on optional fields
Some fields are universal. Name, age, and date of death appear in every obituary. Others depend on the person: military service, religious affiliation, club memberships, charitable causes. Skip what does not apply. Some fields are family decisions: cause of death, maiden name, names of estranged relatives, mention of an unmarried partner. If you are not sure whether to include something, talk it through with the family rather than deciding on your own. The obituary is theirs as much as it is yours.
Obituary checklist
Work down the list as you gather details. Skip what does not apply.
Full name, including maiden name if applicable
Use the full legal name in the opening sentence. For married women, include the maiden name in parentheses after the middle name. Example: Margaret Ellen (Schneider) Whitfield. Add nicknames in quotation marks if the family wants the obituary to use a familiar form: Robert "Bobby" Sullivan. Confirm the spelling with at least one other family member before submission. Spelling errors in a printed obituary are difficult to correct, and they often become the detail the family remembers years later. If the person used a different name in different contexts, like a professional name versus a name family used at home, decide which version belongs in the formal opening and which can appear later in the body.
Age and dates of birth and death
Include the age, the date of birth and place of birth, and the date and place of death. Some families add a cause of death; others choose not to. Both are acceptable. If the death was after a long illness, you can include a phrase like "after a long illness" without naming the diagnosis. If the death was sudden, families sometimes include the cause so distant friends do not have to ask. Place of death matters: died at home, at the hospital, at a hospice facility, or somewhere else. Family members often want this detail because it places the moment in context. If the death happened in a city different from the city of residence, name both.
Parents' full names
List both parents by full name, with the mother's maiden name in parentheses. Example: "...to Harold and Dorothy (Benson) Schneider." If a parent is deceased, you can still list them by name here and mention them again in the predeceased section later. If a parent's name is unknown or the relationship is private, skip this field. Adopted children sometimes list both the adoptive parents and, when relevant and welcomed, the birth parents. The family should make this call together. If a parent was not part of the person's life, leaving the name out is fine and common.
Education and military service
Name the high school and college if applicable, with years of graduation. List degrees only if they matter to the obituary's voice; an associate degree in mechanical engineering is more interesting than the institution that granted it. For military service, name the branch, the years served, the rank if relevant, and any deployments or honors. Most families list service before career. If the person continued formal study later in life, mention that too. A grandmother who finished her bachelor's degree at seventy-two deserves the line. Trade certifications, apprenticeships, and professional licenses also belong here when they shaped the person's working life.
Career, marriage, and family
Career goes in one or two lines: the employer, the role, the length of service, and one detail that mattered. Marriage goes next: spouse's name, date and place of marriage, and length of marriage. If the spouse predeceased, mention it here. Then list children with current cities and the names of their spouses in parentheses. Grandchildren and great-grandchildren are usually counted rather than listed individually unless the family asks otherwise. Stepchildren, foster children, and chosen family belong in the survivors section when they were part of the person's life. The label you use matters: "son" reads differently than "stepson," and many families prefer the unmodified form to reflect how the relationship actually felt.
Hobbies, volunteer work, and passions
This is where the obituary comes alive. Pick two or three things the person was known for and describe them with detail. A garden the neighbors recognized. A weekly bridge game that went on for thirty years. A volunteer shift at the food bank every Tuesday morning. The goal is not to list every interest. It is to pick the ones that sketch a recognizable life. If the person had a habit or routine that everyone in the family knew about, like the morning crossword with coffee, mention it. Small details land harder than long lists. A reader will remember one specific habit much longer than a string of generic adjectives.
Faith, church, or community affiliation
If the person was active in a faith community or social organization, name it. "Active member of First United Methodist Church for over forty years." Or: "Longtime member of the Cedar Falls Garden Club." Affiliations help mourners feel connected and give a sense of where the person spent their time. Skip this field if it does not apply. Service roles within the affiliation deserve a mention when they shaped the person's life: a long-running Sunday school teacher, a volunteer firefighter, a hospice volunteer, a Rotary president. These commitments often reveal more about who someone was than their job title did.
Service, visitation, and burial details
Include the date, time, and full address of the service. If there is a visitation or wake, include that with its own date and time. If the burial is private, say so. If interment is at a national cemetery with military honors, mention it. Double-check every date and time. The most common obituary error is a wrong service time, and it is the one that causes the most trouble. If the service will be livestreamed for family who cannot travel, include the link or the contact who can share it. A short note about parking, accessibility, or a reception following the service can also help readers plan.
Donation information and a closing detail
If the family prefers donations over flowers, name the organization and include either a website or a mailing address. Close the obituary with one specific detail or sentence that captures who the person was. Avoid sweeping summaries like "she will be missed." Pick something small and specific: the dish she made for new neighbors, the way he answered the phone, the trail she ran every Tuesday before sunrise. A strong closing detail leaves the reader with a picture rather than a phrase. If you cannot decide between two options, pick the one that fewer people in the room would already know about. The point of the closing is to leave the reader with something to carry.
Examples: done well vs. done poorly
The same field can be filled in two ways. The first uses concrete detail that helps the reader picture the person. The second uses generic phrasing that could appear in anyone's obituary. The pairs below show the difference. Use them as a guide when you find yourself reaching for an easy adjective. Stop, picture the person, and try to write the version that nobody else could have written.
Personality
Done well
She kept a bowl of caramels at her front door for the neighborhood kids and refused to leave the house without one in her pocket in case she ran into a friend.
Done poorly
She was a kind and generous person who always thought of others.
Career
Done well
He worked as a maintenance supervisor at Valero Energy for thirty-four years, where his colleagues knew him as the person to call when the line went down at three in the morning.
Done poorly
He had a long and successful career in the energy industry.
Hobby
Done well
On Saturdays she ran the Forest Park trails before sunrise with the same three friends for over a decade, finishing each run with coffee at the same diner on Hawthorne.
Done poorly
She enjoyed running and spending time outdoors with friends.
Family role
Done well
He answered the phone with the same warm "hello, sweetheart" every time one of his daughters called, no matter how many times a week they called.
Done poorly
He was a loving father who was always there for his daughters.
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Frequently asked questions
Do I have to include the cause of death?
No. The cause of death is optional, and many families choose to keep it private. If you want to acknowledge that the death was expected, a phrase like "after a long illness" works without naming a specific diagnosis. If the death was sudden, including the cause can save distant friends from having to ask. Whichever you choose, choose what the person would have wanted.
Should I include an unmarried partner?
Yes, if the family agrees and the relationship was significant. Modern obituaries commonly list long-term partners in the survivors section with the same format as a spouse. Phrase it however reflects the relationship: "partner of fifteen years," "longtime companion," or simply "partner." Confirm with the surviving partner how they want to be named before you submit.
How do I list grandchildren and great-grandchildren?
Most obituaries give the count rather than naming each grandchild individually, especially when the number is high. "She is survived by seven grandchildren and four great-grandchildren." If the family wants to list each by name, that is also fine, but be aware that it lengthens the obituary and the cost if you are paying by the line. Whichever approach you use, apply it consistently across both grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
Can I include estranged family members?
This is a family decision. Some families choose to list every surviving relative regardless of recent contact. Others choose to leave out estranged relatives. There is no rule, and there is no judgment from the obituary editor either way. If the family is divided on the question, the closest survivor's wishes usually win out. If you decide to leave someone out, the survivors section should still read as a complete picture of the immediate family.
Should I add a photo?
If the venue supports it, yes. Photos increase engagement on funeral home sites and online memorial pages. Newspapers charge extra for a photo, often a flat fee in the range of $50 to $200. Choose a clear, recent photo, or if the family prefers, an older photo from a favorite era. Avoid group photos that are tightly cropped. Avoid photos where the person was holding something the obituary does not mention.
How long should the survivors section be?
It depends on the family. A small immediate family fits in two or three lines. A large extended family with named grandchildren can take a full paragraph. Use the same format consistently: spouse, then children with cities and spouses in parentheses, then grandchildren and great-grandchildren by count, then siblings, then anyone else who needs to be named. Predeceased family follows the survivors section in a single sentence.
What if I forget to include something after publication?
On a funeral home website or an online memorial, the funeral home can usually edit the obituary at no charge. Email them with the addition and ask for a confirmation when it is updated. For a printed newspaper, the original printing cannot be changed, and a correction notice in a future edition costs money. This is why two or three family members should proofread before submission. If a printed obituary is missing a survivor's name, most families add it on the online version and accept the print as a permanent record.
More resources
How to write an obituary
A step-by-step guide to drafting an obituary from a blank page, with a sample and a writing process.
Obituary templates
Free fill-in-the-blank templates for every relationship. Useful once you know what to include.
Obituary examples
Fully written sample obituaries that show what a finished version looks like in different tones.
Obituary vs eulogy
How an obituary differs from a eulogy, and what kinds of details belong in each.
Newspaper obituary submission
How to submit the finished obituary to a newspaper, with cost expectations and a submission checklist.
AI obituary generator
Start a guided conversation and let the AI assemble a personalized obituary from your answers.
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